Rodičovská autorita

Je veľmi ťažko si udržať autoritu v období dospievania detí, vyžaduje si to veľa trpezlivosti, pochopenia a nie raz sú vaše snahy bez výsledku. Výchovné metódy a lá "Makarenko", ktoré pozná staršia generácia, sú v modernej dobe nemoderné a bez požadovaného výsledku.

puberta_1000x675

Doba sa zrýchlila, na deti vplýva internet, televízia, ovplyvňuje ich množstvo podnetov a informácií, ktoré mnohí ešte z obdobia puberty nezažili. Na druhej strane, tým že je výchova voľnejšia, deti majú otvorenejší vzťah k rodičom, sú priebojnejšie, odvážnejšie a samostatnejšie. Rodičom sa môže hlava zatočiť z množstva zaručených spôsobov, ako správne vychovávať a vychádzať s takýmito sebavedomými pubescentmi. Jediná pomoc a pravda je asi taká, že výchova začína od malička a dodržiava sa spoločná línia v rodine.

Uľahčíte si sami toto obdobie, ak si uvedomíte, že vaše dospievajúce dieťa má teraz nárok na vymedzovanie sa voči autoritám. Čím skôr si prejde týmto obdobím vzdoru, tým skôr nebude mať problém v období dospelosti.

- vaše "veľké dieťa" je v tejto životnej etape neisté má zmätok z okolia ako aj zo seba samého
- uvedomte si, že každé dieťa je individualita a nie vaše zrkadlo či váš nesplnený sen
- stanovte si od začiatku pravidlá a hranice, ktoré navzájom dodržiavate
- neobávajte sa aj kategorických zákazov, za ktorými si stojte a neustupujte
- neprotirečte si, aby ste vašou nedôslednosťou vášho adolescenta nedostali do pozície, že je z vás zmätený
- vyhýbajte sa extrémnych reakciám, napríklad na jednej strane tvrdá autoritatívnosť na druhej strane benevolentnosť
- pritiahnite ho k práci, ktorá má byť niečím motivovaná (vec po ktorej túži, výlet, peňažná odmena...)
- neponižujte ho, keď ste s ním v konflikte
- dôverujte mu a dajte mu možnosť dokázať vám čo v ňom je
- nezabudnite, že každá skúška, ktorú podstúpi ho len formuje
- "zakázané ovocie najviac chutí", to súvisí s nezmyselnými zákazmi, ktoré sa stávajú o to viac atraktívnejšie

Nakoniec asi jediná rada pre rodičov, ktorí sú v tomto období tiež vystavení veľkej skúške. Počúvajte svoje deti, snažte sa im porozumieť a postupne uvoľňujte "pupočnú šnúru". Váš vzájomný vzťah sa zmení do úplne inej kvality, z ktorej budete mať neskôr len radosť.

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