Súrodenecké konštelácie

Ide o poradie človeka v rodine, ktoré zastáva medzi súrodencami. Toto poradie v súrodeneckom vzťahu, po zvážení viacerých faktorov; môže ovplyvniť správanie v partnerskom živote v dospelosti. 

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Každý rodič z vlastnej skúsenosti vie, že ani jedno z jeho detí nie je rovnaké, či už ide prvorodeného, dvojičky alebo posledného narodeného. Nesmieme zabúdať, že človek ako taký je jedinečný, preto za krach v manželstve, nebudeme viniť spomínané poradie.

Správanie jedinca vo vzťahu ovplyvňuje viacero faktorov. Predovšetkým ide o povahové vlastnosti človeka, temperament, sociálne vplyvy, životné skúsenosti z vlastnej rodiny  a podobne. Z týchto dôvodov súrodenecké konštelácie dávajú len časť vysvetlenia, ako v budúcnosti môžeme vystupovať v partnerskom súžití. Môžeme z nich ale získať určité oporné body, ktoré sú výpovedné a naznačia, prečo sa partner vo vzťahu tak zachoval. Rizikové dvojice, ktorým neprajú súrodenecké konštelácie, môžu napriek všetkým výhradám ideálne  koexistovať. Aby vzťah zdravo fungoval, je dôležité, aby partneri mali spoločné záujmy, životné ciele alebo povahové vlastnosti, ktoré sa vzájomné dopĺňajú. Vzťah nebude funkčný v prípade, ak partneri napriek dobrým vyhliadkam na spoločný život, majú rozdielne povahy a odlišné názory v základných životných otázkach.

RODINA S JEDNÝM DIEŤAŤOM

Slávni jedináčikovia: F. D. Roosevelt, Frank Sinatra, Robin Williams, Natalie Portman

Koľko detí prinesú na svet rodičia, ovplyvňujú viaceré faktory. Necítia  sa na viac detí, zdravotné dôvody, finančná situácia, nekompletná rodina a dôvod, že dieťa prišlo na svet ako „nechcené“. Takéto „nechcené deti“ často vstupujú do konfliktu s rodičom, pretože sa im nedostávalo dostatok lásky a pozitívnych emocionálnych impulzov.

Jedináčikovia vo všeobecnosti bývajú výrazne zameraní na výkon  a úspech vo všetkom, čoho sa chytia. Sú nároční na seba (perfekcionisti) a očakávajú rovnaký prístup od druhých. Veľakrát sú nadpriemerne tvoriví, pedantní, zvyknutí na rutinu a poriadok. Niektorým jedináčikom chýba sociálny tréning, pretože vyrastali sami alebo boli nútení sa ho učiť s cudzími deťmi. Vo vyhranených prípadoch ich zameranie vedie až egocentrizmu. Pri správnej výchove, bývajú vyspelejší  a šikovnejší pri riešení problémov v porovnaní s ľuďmi, ktorí vyrastali  s viacerými súrodencami.

PRVORDENÉ DIEŤA

Slávni prvorodení: Bill Crosby, Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey. Viac než polovica amerických prezidentov  a väčšina prvých astronautov.

Rovnako ako jedináčikovia, prvorodení bývajú vysoko ambiciózni, cieľavedomí a dominantní. Rodičia na nich kladú vysoké nároky, mnohokrát na nich prenášajú svoje životné ciele a sny. Prvorodení sa dokážu vžiť do pozície „jedináčika“, pretože zo začiatku boli stredobodom pozornosti. Na druhej strane, s príchodom druhorodeného súrodenca, sa táto pozornosť vytráca. V ich živote dochádza k zásadnej zmene, ktorú dokážu zvládnuť, ak ich rodičia budú dostatočne citliví a dieťa na zmenu včas pripravia. Z rôznych medzinárodných štúdií vyplýva, že prvorodení majú vyššie IQ, než ich mladší súrodenci. Rodičia prvorodenému dieťaťu venujú väčšiu starostlivosť a viac od neho očakávajú. Starší súrodenec  neskôr pomáha mladšiemu s učením a zručnosťami.

DRUHORODENÉ DIEŤA

Slávni druhorodení: Donald Trump, Julia Roberts či Madonna.

Bývajú spoločenskí, diplomatickí a prispôsobivejší, pretože ich nikto z „pomyselného trónu“ nezhodil. Majú výraznú snahu o odlíšenie od svojho staršieho brata či sestry. Zaujímavé je, že určitú úlohu tu zohráva aj pohlavie vo vzťahu súrodencov. Ak je druhorodený opačného pohlavia  než prvorodené dieťa, spravidla býva pozornosť rodičov rozdelená rovnako.

PROSTREDNÉ dieťa môžeme priradiť k druhorodenému súrodencovi, s tým rozdielom, že má najzložitejšiu ​​pozíciu medzi súrodencami. Nezažilo výsadné postavenie prvorodeného alebo posledného. Veľakrát je ochudobnené o rozmaznávanie, výhradnú pozornosť, ktorú môže dostať len najstarší alebo ten najmladší. Toto poradie ho predurčuje k väčšej prispôsobivosti, je zvyknuté na vyjednávanie, ktoré občas prerastie do manipulácie okolia.

NAJMALDŠIE DIEŤA

Slávni najmladší:  Margaret Thatcherová, George Michael či Jim Carrey.

Má  v rodine špeciálne miesto. O to viac, ak išlo o „vytúžené“ pohlavie. Od rodičov sa mu dostáva množstvo pozornosti, lásky a  súrodenci mu vo všetkých smeroch uľahčujú cestu životom. Podľa toho, v akom rodinnom prostredí boli vychovávaní, sa prejavujú aj ich povahové vlastnosti. Každopádne bývajú súťaživí, disponujú silnou vôľou, aby sa priblížili, prípadne predbehli starších súrodencov. Sú tvoriví, citovo založení, empatickí, dokážu ostatných motivovať a obľúbení v spoločnosti. Ak boli nadmieru rozmaznávaní, vychovávaní bez stanovenia určitých hraníc, často rebelujú, radi manipulujú s okolím a správajú sa nedospelo napriek ich veku.

DVOJIČKY

Narodením dvojičiek vzniká medzi nimi výnimočné citové spojenie. To nezabráni, aby sa pokúsili medzi sebou odlíšiť a presadiť vlastnú individualitu. Rovnako ako medzi súrodencami rôzneho poradia, aj medzi nimi je jedno dominantné a druhé submisívne. Podriadené dvojča v partnerskom vzťahu vyhľadáva v partnerovi rodičovskú úlohu a „materskú“ lásku. Dominantné vo vzťahoch a v kolektíve preberá „vedúcu“ úlohu.

Na záver skúsme skombinovať ideálne spojenie partnerov, na základe súrodeneckej konštelácie. Fungovať by mohli vo vzťahu NAJSTARŠIA SESTRA mladších bratov a NAJMLADŠÍ BRAT starších sestier. V tomto vzťahu, partner predpokladá a očakáva, že partnerka je dominantnejšia. Preberá zodpovednosť za rozhodnutia, je starostlivá voči všetkým členom rodiny. Ideálnou kombináciou je aj NAJMLADŠIA SESTRA  a NAJSTARŠÍ BRAT. Vo všeobecnosti sa potvrdilo, že partneri, ktorí pochádzajú zo zmiešaného súrodeneckého vzťahu, mávajú lepšie predpoklady k spolunažívaniu.

A ako je to s partnermi, ktorí sú OBIDVAJA NAJSTARŠÍ zo súrodencov a jedináčikov? Spomínali sme už na začiatku. Partnerský vzťah bude harmonický, ak si jasne stanovia hranice rozhodovania, pretože rozhodnúť musí vždy len jeden. Opačný prípad bude, ak do vzťahu vstupujú dvaja NAJMLADŠÍ zo súrodencov, respektíve  tí submisívnejší. Musia prevziať spoločnú zodpovednosť za rozhodovanie. 

1 Komentár

  • Komentár wiki.gta-zona.Ru %AM, %21 %328 %2025 %06:%mar napísal wiki.gta-zona.Ru

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