Test: Ste obľúbená?

Obľúbení ľudia majú zvyčajne štyri kľúčové vlastnosti: schopnosť počúvať, empatiu, flexibilitu a štedrosť. „Tieto štyri vlastnosti určujú kvocient popularity...


... čím je vyšší, tým viac sa k vám ľudia hrnú,“ hovorí Laurie Puhnová, autorka knihy Instant Persuasion /Okamžité presvedčenie/. Zistite si, aký je váš kvocient popularity, a naučte sa, akým jednoduchým spôsobom ho podporiť.


1. S ktorým tvrdením najviac súhlasíte?

a) Podporujem svojich priateľov, aj keď sa mýlia.

b) Som lojálna, ale neskrývam svoje skutočné názory.


2. V práci prevažne:

a) Pri spolupráci ste otvorená kompromisom.

b) Viac vám vyhovuje prevzatie vedenia.


3. Zvyčajne:

a) Veríte prvému dojmu z ľudí.

b) Doprajete si čas na utvorenie názoru o ľuďoch.


4. Vaše plány sú zvyčajne:

a) Flexibilné a otvorené zmenám.

b) Fixné a orientované na cieľ.


5. Čo je pre váš väčší problém?

a) Túžba pomáhať druhým znamená, že často neviete povedať nie.

b) Ak nemáte chvíľku pokoja, vystresuje vás to.


6. Keď sa vám náhle zmenia plány, zvyčajne:

a) Pokojne idete ďalej.

b) Trochu vás to znepokojí.


7. Keď niekoho počúvate, takmer vždy  sním nadviažete očný kontakt.

a) Áno.

b) Nie.


8. Vždy si pamätáte mená ľudí.

a) Áno.

b) Nie.


9. Dávate si pozor na držanie?

a) Áno.

b) Nie.


10. Vtipy vás vždy rozosmejú.

a) Áno.

b) Nie.


HODNOTENIE

Za každú odpoveď a) si dajte 7 bodov, za každú odpoveď b) si dajte 3 body.

56 až 70 bodov – Ste veľmi obľúbená.

„Ľudia chcú byť vo vašej prítomnosti, lebo sa potom  sami cítia dobre,“ hovorí Puhnová. Ste šťastná, keď sa vašim priateľom darí, počúvate ich, srdečne odpovedáte na otázky a v prípade potreby ich dokážete povzbudiť a potešiť. V čom je problém? Keďže priťahujete taký široký okruh priateľov, môže sa stať, že nemáte dostatok času pre seba. Aby ste sa vyhli vyhoreniu z popularity:

-       Počúvajte svoj vnútorný hlas. Keď začínate pociťovať stres z toho, že príliš rozdávate, jednoducho povedzte nie a verte,že vaši priatelia vás budú mať radi rovnako.

-       Venujte sa sama sebe. Štúdie ukazujú, že čas venovaný sebareflexii a relaxácii vás nabije energiou, uvoľní napätie, a dokonca môže znížiť krvný tlak až o 10 percent.

-       Raz za čas si oddýchnite od ťažkostí vašich priateľov. Vypočujte ich, ale majte na pamäti: Nemôžem riešiť problémy všetkých ľudí.


40 až 50 bodov
– Spoločnosť si vyberáte.

Zabudnite, že buďte mať okolo seba davy ľudí – dávate prednosť malej, úzko spätej skupine priateľov. Ste pomerne hanblivá. Budujete si hlboké a trvácne vzťahy, založené na dvoch nevyhnutných vlastnostiach: veľkorysosti a empatii. Empatia je kľúčová pre budovanie pevného priateľstva. Ak cítite túžbu rozšíriť okruh svojich priateľov, vyskúšajte toto:

-       Zapojte sa do skupiniek, ktoré majú rovnaké záujmy ako vy. Prihláste sa napríklad do čitateľského krúžku alebo chodievajte hrávať hoci poker.

-       Navrhnite svojim blízkym priateľom, aby vás predstavili svojmu okruhu známych.

-       Posilnite si konverzačné schopnosti tým, že sa pustíte do rozhovoru s ľuďmi v rade pri pokladni, na pošte alebo v kine.


30 až 39 bodov
– Ste osamelá bežkyňa.

Ste silná individualistka, ktorá radšej funguje sama za seba. Máte dokonalé predpoklady a zručnosti byť výkonnou manažérkou. „Byť lídrom sa však nie vždy pretaví do popularity,“ hovorí Puhnová. Tu je niekoľko rád, ako popracovať na svojej obľúbenosti:

-       Kým druhému dáte radu, zistite, či o ňu vôbec stojí. Vaša kamarátka možno potrebuje, aby ste ju iba vypočuli.

-       Usilujte sa vzbudiť dobrý prvý dojem. Nadviažte očný kontakt, zapamätajte si mená, pýtajte sa a počúvajte. Výskum ukazuje, že v priebehu desiatich minút stretnutia si o vás druhá strana urobí názor, a keď sa budete držať tejto rady, mal by byť pozitívny.

-       Pýtajte sa sama seba: „Ako by som sa asi v tejto situácii cítila ja?“ Je to najlepší spôsob, ako si cvičiť empatiu – dôležitú vlastnosť obľúbenosti.


Z knihy Testy, ktoré vás odhalia – Robin Westen

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